When I got sober, my whole world opened up, but it happened over time. After the initial period of adjustment (a whole other story as you well know), I gradually came to realize how much more LIFE was available to me. This was my biggest motivation in the first place–to really live the greatest life I could create. I knew I could never have the life I wanted if I kept drinking.
As a single, full-time mom, I wanted to be present for my teenage kids in a way that would not have been possible while “on the sauce”. We can’t ever really know the impact any of our choices have on others, but I’m pretty certain my kids are relatively well-adjusted because I wasn’t checked out.
I dedicated myself to finishing strong as a parent as my children became more and more independent. My work as a mother will never be done, but they haven’t needed me around as much, and because of that I started dating again.
I’ve done a LOT of dating since my kid’s dad and I split. But it had been 6 years, the very challenging teen years, since I had been at all serious about it. There’s a lot to say about how I grew during that time. But for now I’ll just say that I learned to love and take care of myself — to speak kindly to myself, forgive myself, do what I want for fun, take care of my body (sobriety, etc.) and just generally honor myself.
All of this was part of the intentional life-creation process. And…
These were the ways I prepared to attract a healthy relationship.
Thank you for reading. There’s more to come. I will be sharing posts on the following topics and more:
- Healing trauma and creating new patterns
- Spirituality in relationship
- Clean communication
- Mutual respect
- Sovereignty
- Date nights and having fun
- Sober Sex (and how much better it is than sex under the influence or hungover or tired or… seriously)
- Personal responsibility
- Self-love and self-care
- More of my personal journey including how I met my man and what we’ve created together