When I realized on date two that this thing between me and my man might actually become something real and great I began to have flashes of the future when our human foibles would cause friction. I knew to expect it because it’s just what happens. There is no escape. Bliss is not yours at all times in romance. I’m stating the obvious to make a point.

There was a part of me that was excited to see how he and I could work together to solve conflict between us. I had heard and had some clues that these would be opportunities for intimacy.

What’s cool is that my attitude of eager anticipation for the rough patches gave me a sense of freedom to open up more to him. I was prepared enough to grow this thing because I was aware of what would come in the future. Can you see how that might be liberating? 

When you know what is inevitable (conflict between humans is inevitable), and you are prepared to speak from the heart and question your conditioned responses (found in a category of flight, fight, freeze or fawn) you are on a path of sustained growth.